Al In The County

I've Moved

2010-05-18T06:25:00.002-04:00

Please come visit me at my new blog Czech & Swede.

He Lives, He Breathes

2010-02-22T13:12:00.003-05:00

He remembers to update his blog on occasion.

Lots has happened in the last couple of months. We bought a new car. We put together a supper for a woman who is dying of cancer. I started school. We've had the warmest winter in the history of our county. Our pregnant horse, isn't - pregnant that is. She's still a horse, of course.

So this week - I will update my 101 things list, tell you about going to community college in rural Maine, discuss the farm, and consider rural health care.

The Gossip Belt

2009-12-28T09:42:00.002-05:00

The part of The County that I live in is known locally as "The Bible Belt" because of its large population percentage wise of churchgoers and the affect they have on the local area. Alcohol is not served or sold on Sundays in this stretch of The County, for example.

I think its all fine and good to call it The Bible Belt, but I think in reality it should be called The Gossip Belt.

Trust me, I'm getting as good at it as anyone.

I noticed from my first visit to The County (one year ago yesterday, to be exact) that this was the norm, as I imagine it is in most rural areas. When you live in a closed society, so to speak, what is happening within that society is important.

Of course this means that I now know far more than I really ever should have known about the people around me. Because here in The Gossip Belt, it is not uncommon to have piece of gossip - "Can you believe she's cheating on him with so and so?" - lead into the distant past - "I'm not surprised. I remember when she stole Amanda Smith's boyfriend in the 10th Grade by offering to 'tutor him'. She's always been that way." - then into distant family history - "I was told her father used to have two women on the side when he was a trucker going downstate, so its no surprise she turned out this way".

I choose to look at it as a positive. I get to learn everyone's names, for one, because I'm the slow guy at the table. "Who is she?" I'll ask and get the answer - "Oh, you know. She drives the white ford van and has the little kid that always wears a parka, even in Summer. You saw her at Thanksgiving at The Restaurant. She was at the table with the three kids that ate the crayons." So I have decided to use it as my who's who education here.

Of course, that leads me to worry about what is being said about me, naturally. In reality, though, what really can be said about me? I'm half of the only openly gay couple around these parts, so in most people's minds, they already know the "dirtiest" thing they can know about me, although many people still seem to think its odd that I'm not hiding what they must think of as a hush hush secret a little better. Other than that, I think most of the gossip centers around me working for "liberals". I figure it'll take another year or so for the really juicy rumors to start.

I'll keep my ear to the ground for you.

Snow Daze

2009-12-16T11:04:00.003-05:00

I am quickly coming to terms with the fact that, outside of a surprise trip to Florida from The Partner (one can hope), I probably won't see green grass again until May.

Truth be told, there is a certain beauty to the white landscape. And this isn't my first Maine winter, so its not like I'm not used to snow.

But when I lived in Portland, there was small chance of a January thaw, even if only for a day or so. Here, there's a better chance of Joe Lieberman voting with Democrats than there is a mid-winter thaw.

Don't know where I'm going with this. I was just trying to look through the ice encased windows at the blowing snow, and got the realization.

So you know what that means - when I don't know what else to write, I throw it back to you. How do you know its winter where you are?

101 Things - Travelling Fool

2009-12-12T08:10:00.003-05:00

My latest update on my Day Zero Project of completing 101 things in 1,001 days. Progress is being made.

Completed On The List

#20 - Give an anonymous gift to someone in need - For reasons that are clear, I can't and won't share details, but #20 is complete.

#22 - Plan a surprise overnight getaway - The Partner's birthday and our anniversary are two days apart, so I worked with The Girls at The Restaurant to get his weekend shifts covered, got his family to cover all the farm chores, and surprised him with a trip to Boston! We stayed at the fancy schmancy Nine Zero Hotel right across from Boston Commons, and had a wonderful time.

#50 - Attend a benefit supper - Okay, so this was a pretty easy one, since we seem to have a benefit supper weekly here in The County. But still, it was great to help cook all the food and see all the neighbors come together to help someone in need. Now if I can just get people to think of a national healthcare plan as a better response to our neighbors going broke when they get sick instead of a spaghetti supper. Ah, one thing at a time...

#54 - Decorate for a holiday - The tree is up, the candles are in the window, Mortimer the lighted snowman is out, cards are on the mantle, and knickknacks are on every free space. Yup, I chose Christmas.

#71 - Take and out of state vacation with The Partner - See #22. I thought about this and asked myself if a weekend counts as a vacation. Then I thought about all the work we put in covering everything for just 2 days away and realize that the idea of us ever taking longer than that away probably isn't feasible. So yes, I'm counting it.

#76 - Watch and Academy Award winning movie made before 1968 - "To Kill A Mockingbird". I can't believe I hadn't seen that movie before now. If you haven't, put it in your Netflix queue right now.

#77 - Watch a sunrise - We had friends visit from Portland for a weekend recently, and showing them around and hearing what they had to say renewed my love of home. The first morning, I got up, went into the field and watched the sunrise, and spent a moment basking in gratitude for all I have.

#82 - Attend a board meeting in person - I am on a few boards, and usually have to attend them by phone just because of the travel. Well, one of them happened to be in Bangor just as we were coming back from our Boston trip, so we were able to attend in person. It was nice to see everyone and feel really a part of the conversation.

#83 - Attend an LGBT dance - On our way to Boston, we went to the Bridge Alliance dance in Bangor. We've gone before and we always have a great time. If you live in Northern Maine, consider going to one of these. They're held every month.

In Progress

#9 - Get my Nexus Card or Passport - I've got the application. Now I just need to get The Partner to go into town so we can get our pictures taken and submit it.

#14 - Enroll in and complete a semester at a community college - I have been accepted to Northern Maine Community College and start classes - Psychology, Ethics, and Speech will be my first three - next month. Even better, they accepted 21 credits from my failed attempt at college in 1987, so I'm already 1/3 of the way to my Associates of Arts!

#69 - Attend a fundraising dinner in Aroostook County - This is happening December 28 in Presque Isle for the woman that will hopefully become the first woman governor in Maine's history.

Back To Step One

#23 - Send holiday cards one year by the Saturday after Thanksgiving - I got a lot of them out, but I'm still collecting addresses, so I hope to accomplish this one next year. We'll see.

There are some pretty big projects still on the list, including the writing. I'm still excited about this and it has been a great motivator to keep active. If you want to join me, go to the Day Zero Project website and get started.

Winter Approaches. Then Wham! Winter's Here.

2009-12-11T14:44:00.002-05:00

Not very subtle of you, Winter. Not subtle at all...

Suppertime

2009-12-10T08:52:00.002-05:00

I'm learning a unique colloquialism to rural farm areas: the difference between "lunch", "dinner", and "supper".

Now I've had some experience with these terms. My mother came from rural northern Minnesota, and on occasion used the term supper. But mostly she treated this the same way that my grandfather treated his Swedish -- as something to be forgotten. Both were seen as being "less than", for my grandfather, less American, for my mother, less urban.

So here I am again, hearing people talk about lunch at 9pm, dinner at noon, and supper at all kinds of times. So as a service to myself and you, dear reader, I will attempt to put these terms into context.

Lunch - This is a "break meal". My guess is that it came from times when everyone would be out farming and doing chores (or youngsters in school), and they took a meal with them into the fields. I have heard this term used by the snowplow driver here in town for his 8am meal, and by a waitress at The Restaurant for her post work meal at 9pm. The meaning is the same, though. Its a meal taken during a break from working.

Dinner - This is a formal meal, but not necessarily the evening meal. Oftentimes, this is the noon meal. But whenever it is, it is usually the largest meal of the day, and all (or most) of the family is expected to be in attendance. I was quite surprised when on Thanksgiving at The Restaurant we filled our Thanksgiving Dinner seatings at noon & 2pm, but had no takers for later. I grew up with the concept that the largest meal of the day was always the evening meal. I now know better.

Supper - This is the less formal meal. It can be considered the "other meal" from what I can tell. This is larger than a snack, but not necessarily by much, and isn't necessarily taken as a family. I've noticed that people will have sandwiches or soups as this meal. This may be taking into account the reality of rural life that family members often work on different schedules.

So, I'm learning something new. If you have more input on this, I'd love to hear it. Or maybe other meal colloquialisms that are unique to you.

Gotta go now. Dinner's cooking.

Double the Fun

2009-12-05T07:58:00.003-05:00

I got a brand new computer for Christmas.

While this is exciting on many levels (I actually like the new Windows 7 os, which surprised me), more importantly it means you'll be hearing from me more often.

When we only had one computer, I hogged it through the whole day because I work from home and, well, I needed to use it. What that meant was that I was touchy about using it when I wasn't working.

Oh, The Partner never said anything, but still - I had it for 10 hours a day.

So now that I have my fancy schmancy own computer, I hope to post more often.

We'll decide later whether or not thats a good thing.

Holiday Sneer

2009-11-25T12:54:00.003-05:00

The Partner and I have very different ideas about celebrating the holidays. His idea is to put our heads down and pray that December 26th comes soon.

My view of this, needless to say, is not the same.

This difference of opinion has caused a bit of a misunderstanding. Not an argument, mind you, but more of a shaking of the head on his part.

He doesn't seem to understand that in order to make things happen, they have to be planned for. For instance, I bought my holiday cards just before Halloween, which in his eyes was something near insane.

Of course, he also has never sent holiday cards, either, so there's that.

There has to be a balance, of course. I'm not going to go too crazy with holiday stuff - and trust me, I could if given free reign - because I know he's not comfortable with it.

That said, one of The Girls at The Restaurant has invited me over to help decorate her house with the kids. We're going to string popcorn and cranberries, and make crafts, and bake cookies. The whole shebang.

So I'll give him a bit of his bah humbug and just move along.

Take that, Grinch.

Here Kitty Kitty Kitty

2009-11-07T10:28:00.002-05:00

The Partner has a problem. Its not his fault really, but its a problem none the less.

He can't say no to an animal in need.

The latest aquisition at Chez Al & The Partner is a kitten. Because there was someone at the gas station where he goes to get the newspaper and the gossip every morning that had a kitten they couldn't keep and he walked in and they saw him and they know he has a problem, so...

Basically he was taken advantage of by a kitty pusher who took advantage of his problem.

Nonetheless, we are now proud owners of a new kitten. I will say that The Cat and The Dog were a bit taken aback by this new addition to the household.

But a couple of cat fights later (including one at 4:30 in the morning on our bed with us in it), a few swipes to the nose and barks, and a remarkably smooth transition to a new litter box, and here we are.

Now if only I can teach her that the spider plants aren't for playing with or eating. Baby steps...

Why I Love Living In The County

2009-11-05T13:59:00.005-05:00

Its been a rough couple of days here in Chez Al & The Partner. As you know, Maine voters voted to take away our right to marry.

Here in The County, the results we're particularly stark. 73% of the voters voted to do this, and in our little town, the vote was 80%.

Friends of mine from downstate, Portland and around the country are hurt and upset about his vote. Part of that is anger.

I've been asked why I live with "backward rednecks" and how can I stand to be "surrounded with hate".

I understand the hurt, and the anger, and the lashing out. This isn't easy, and when it has a direct effect on your life, its even worse.

So I think its important to take a step back and talk about whey we love The County.

* When someone - anyone - gets sick, or gets into a rough spot, the first response people here have is "Call the ladies at the church and let's put together a supper".

* When its time to bring in the hay, or bring in the potatoes, or help the cows during birth, everything that anyone feels about anyone else is forgotten. There's a job to be done, and people's livlihoods depend on it.

* There's something special about knowing everyone in town. And their parents, cousins, aunts, and entire extended family.

* We have a farm. How cool is that? I mean really, my alarm clock is a rooster.

* Our friends stand up for us and are outspoken. It may not seem like much, but when 4 out of 5 people don't agree with you, its easy to "not make waves". Our friends choose instead to splash the water.

* There is something priceless about the old former military guy in the next town that gave the Baptist pastor the what's what on this issue quite publicly -- and reminded him of all the gay family members everyone here has -- by name. Because its a small town and everyone knows everything about everyone. Sometimes that works for you, and sometimes not.

* You only know what you are exposed to. In a few years, when we go through this again, there will be people that voted against us this time that won't next time. And the reason for the change is that they will know us better, and the commercials of fear won't fit their reality. I can already see this in the faces of people that kind of know us from The Restaurant. The ones that can't look us in the eye when we greet them because somewhere inside they are ashamed of their vote are the ones I want to get to know better.

* There's no escaping here. And yes, that's a good thing. It forces all of us to think about what we are going to do or say to someone will play out in the long run. Because we will see each other over and over again after the confrontation, and will have to live with the consequences. Because of this, people tend to be much more thoughtful about what they say and do to each other.

* A couple weeks ago the front door accidentally locked behind me when I closed it too hard. I don't have a key and didn't know where one was. Because the front door had never been locked since I have been here. The key, of course, was on a nail right next to the door. On the outside.

* When we go on a trip to Bangor or Portland or Washington, DC, the entire town knows about it, and many talk about it with a sort of awe. "They went all the way to Washington. I hear he knows one of the Congressmen." It is the morning talk at the gas station for days. When I lived in Washington, DC, my neighbors never even knew if I was in town or not - or knew my name for that matter.

* People I don't know honk and wave when I'm out in the yard. Just because.

* People stop and talk to me at the grocery store. And everyone in town knows I clip coupons. Random people stop at the farmhouse and drop off coupons because of this knowledge.

* If something ever happened to me or The Partner (God forbid), someone would offer to drive us to "The big hospital down in Bangor", another person would come pick up The Dog without being asked, farm chores would be magically assigned to various people in town -- and they would get done -- and there would be three casseroles on the sunporch by sundown.

* And of course, in the above scenario, someone would say "Call the ladies at the church and let's put together a supper".

The Less Things Change

2009-11-04T06:46:00.003-05:00

Well, we woke up this morning, after a very disappointing vote last night that took away our right to marry, and I noticed something.

Nothing is different, yet things have changed.

The Partner and I are still who we are and are in love as much as ever. The Animals still needed to be fed. The Dog still needed to play ball.

Sadly, 80% of our town voted to take away our marriage rights, but I will instead focus on the 20% that voted with us.

Our work between now and the next vote -- and make no mistake, there will be another vote -- is to continue to be a good neighbor and try to get some of those people that were led astray by the horrific lies on television to see that no, we are not child predators and no, we don't want to make their child "choose to be gay". We can do that by just living our lives and being honest with people.

There are others that just need to be better than someone else -- or have such low self worth that they need to have someone to hate or fear more than themselves -- that we can do nothing about, and we can't spend our time or take the space within ourselves hating back. My hope for them is that they have a moment of clarity and clear away some of the fear and self-hatred before they pass away.

Martin Luther King Jr said "We shall overcome because the arc of a moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice". When I came out of the closet 22 years ago, the idea of marriage was beyond our comprehension. Instead, we were fighting to be protected by the police when people beat us in public.

We've come a long way, and we'll get to where we're going.

Why We Live Here

2009-10-28T09:00:00.002-04:00

Bellowing In The Wind

2009-10-27T11:03:00.003-04:00

We have brought back the bulls for the winter, and sent most of the cows that were grazing here off to a larger farm (with a larger barn) for the year.

One of the cows that stayed behind is a first time mother and she has been bellowing like no other since her calf was taken away.

Now I know this is a farm and we are doing the right thing by them doing this, but I've gotta tell you - all I can hear is the pain of a mother who has had her child taken away.

I'm still a little soft for the farm, but better than I was at the beginning of Summer. Moments like these, though, just tear me up.

Ducks and Eggs

2009-10-20T11:12:00.003-04:00

We lost a duck over the last day.

Not sure what creature grabbed her, but she's gone but for a few feathers. The remaining ducks were none too interested this morning in coming out of the middle of the pond and eating, so I'm guessing they got away and saw it all.

As sad as it is, I'm okay with it. Its part of farm life, and I'm starting to get used to the cycle of life and death.

On a positive note, the chickens have started laying eggs. Of course, we have no idea of what we are going to do with all the eggs we'll be getting this winter.

So, question for the readers - got any good egg recipes?

101 Things Update - Al Gets Carded

2009-10-14T10:04:00.002-04:00

My weekly update on my Day Zero Project challenge:

Completed on the list

#79 - Take The Partner's parents to dinner - We took them to dinner on my birthday at The Restaurant. One down, 100 to go!

In Progress

#23 - Send out holiday cards by the Saturday after Thanksgiving - I've got my list written and actually have bought our holiday cards. Next step is to collect missing addresses and start addressing.

#50 - Attend a benefit supper - Looks like this one will be completed tonight, as I help out The Partner's parents at a benefit supper for the snowmobile club. I'm in charge of the turkey -- wish me luck.

#55 - Send birthday cards to friends for one year - Went to the card store (where, on top of my holiday card purchase and a gift certificate purchase, my buying birthday cards has made me a welcome presence) and bought cards for the next two weeks for 5 friends having birthdays. Three went in the mail this morning.

#87 - Read The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown and write a review on Amazon - Started the book this week. I'm starting to feel like I did with John Grisham books, though. The first couple I read were mesmerizing, then they started becoming formulaic. On top of that this one takes place in Washington, DC where I have a lot of history, so it may be less believable to me. We'll see.

Overall, a pretty good start. I do know that I'm going to have to review the list regularly and start more planning if I'm going to get through some of these tasks. It is serving to make me a bit more focused already, though, and makes it less likely that I'll just goof off when I have down time. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-10-12T10:18:00.002-04:00

I'm learning a lot about Canadian holidays up here.

One of the joys of living on the border is being exposed to Canada through television and the radio. I listen to a Canadian radio station most of the time, and of course being a hockey fan my Saturday nights have been completely transformed.

I can say a few things about this. One thing I'm learning more about are Canadian holidays, like today being Thanksgiving in Canada. I'm also getting pretty good at understanding temperatures in Celcius. So there's that.

Now I'm not a complete neophyte when it comes to this. I grew up in Seattle, and one thing my mother always splurged on was cable tv, so I got to watch CBC as a kid. I loved spending Sunday mornings in the winter watching...wait for it...curling. And believe it or not curling remains one of my favorite sports. Come to think of it, that should have been on my 101 things list.

Anyway, this is just a long way of saying Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian readers. Hope your harvest was a good one this year.

Dreaming of a White Columbus Day

2009-10-11T12:25:00.002-04:00

We're supposed to get snow flurries tonight. Nothing major, of course, and no accumulation, but interesting none the less.

It made me think back to my fondest wish as a kid - and as a kid at heart. Wishing for a White Christmas.

I mentioned this to one of The Girls last night at The Restaurant, and she looked at me as only an Aroostook County native could on this subject. She took her time, then said "I don't understand".

And of course she wouldn't. Downstate in Portland you might not be guaranteed a White Christmas, but up here its not even a question. Its more a question of how much.

This is new to me. I grew up in Seattle, where snowfall is something of an event - and I remember a grand total of 1 White Christmas in my life before moving to Maine.

And I have to admit, as much as I know its early and just a flurry coming tonight, that feeling of excitement that I had when I saw my first snowfall at the age of 7 is still in me these many years later.

Fall Colors

2009-10-08T10:03:00.002-04:00

101 Things

2009-10-07T10:07:00.003-04:00

I wrote a few months back about wanting to take part in the Day Zero Project, a challenge to accomplish (or attempt to accomplish) 101 things in 1001 days.

This being my birthday, I thought it was the perfect day to start. Below you'll see my list of 101 things that I hope to accomplish by July 4, 2012.

I will do a once a week post about my progress on individual items and every month or soo update the list in a post.

I think this is an exciting project that has the potential to get me to try new things and keep me active in body, mind, and spirit.

Without further ado, here's the list:

1. Practice meditation twice a week for three months
2. Attend a Christian church for a Sunday service
3. Make a four course meal for four
4. Take a skiing lesson
5. Learn to shoot a rifle
6. Camp outside for a weekend
7. Go to a hockey game in Canada
8. Go to an NHL game
9. Get my Nexus Card or Passport
10. Outline my autobiography
11. Create a fictional character
12. Write a first chapter of a fiction book
13. Wirte a first draft of a fiction book
14. Enroll in and complete a semester at a community college
15. Go to the dentist proactively
16. Follow through on the dental plan
17. Complete my health care paperwork
18. Go to the doctor for bloodwork every 3 months
19. Win a satellite poker tournament into a larger tournament
20. Give an anonymous gift to someone in need
21. Kayak on a Maine river
22. Plan a surprise overnight getaway
23. Send out holiday cards one year by the Saturday after Thanksgiving
24. Bake a homemade pie
25. See my niece get married
26. Call my sisters monthly for a year
27. Enter a photograph in the county fair
28. Go to bingo night with a friend
29. Join the Aroostook County Democrats
30. Go to an UMPI (University of Maine at Presque Isle) basketball game
31. Go to a Maine Black Bears hockey game
32. Go to a Maine Black Bears football game
33. Go snowmobiling
34. Ride ATVs to the top of Mars Hill
35. Volunteer for a local political candidate
36. Attend a town meeting
37. Take a scenic day tour of Aroostook County
38. Visit Baxter State Park
39. Visit Acadia National Park
40. Manage my own section of garden for one season
41. Carve a pumpkin
42. Go ice skating
43. Make homemade cookies
44. Put together a game night
45. Email a friend "just because" once a week for three months
46. Write a short story
47. Write a poem and publish it on my blog
48. Write a weekly political column on Daily Kos for six months
49. Post on my blog daily for one month
50. Attend a benefit supper
51. Write in a diary three times a week for 6 months
52. Keep to a housekeeping schedule for 3 months
53. Build a snowman
54. Decorate for a holiday
55. Create a calendar for and send birthday cards to friends for one year
56. Attend a lecture
57. Go to a book reading
58. Read a classic
59. Complete a Teaching Company course
60. Go swimming in a lake in Maine
61. Spend a day at a county fair
62. Complete a corn maze
63. Take a beginners French course
64. Go to a movie at a movie theater
65. Go to a concert
66. Post a review on Trip Advisor
67. Attend the Northern Maine balloon festival
68. Attend a high school sporting event
69. Attend a fundraising dinner in Aroostook County
70. Finish watching Friday Night Lights
71. Take an out of state vacation with The Partner
72. Buy flowers for The Partner
73. Plan and throw a birthday party
74. Take a Sunday drive
75. Ride a horse
76. Watch an Academy Award winning movie made before 1968
77. Watch a sunrise
78. Spend 72 hours without internet or cell phone
79. Take The Partner's parents to dinner
80. Collect chicken eggs from the chicken coup
81. Organize kids games for the town's Fun Days
82. Attend a board meeting in person
83. Attend a LGBT dance
84. Buy girl scout cookies
85. Finish "in the money" in a multi table poker tournament of 180 people or more
86. Attend a demolition derby
87. Read Dan Brown's latest book and write a review on Amazon
88. Spend a day fencing the fields
89. Spend a day haying
90. Continue our couples night Valentine Day tradition
91. Take a digital photography course
92. Make a snow angel
93. Go outside in below zero temperatures
94. Attend gay pride in Bangor
95. Liveblog a Dancing With The Stars Episode
96. Spend a shift waiting tables at The Restaurant
97. Go to a karaoke night and sing a song
98. Take a picture a day for a month and post them on Facebook
99. Buy a new suit
100.Buy a tuxedo
101.Marry The Partner in Maine

Sign Of The Times

2009-10-06T12:03:00.003-04:00

Our farm is the county headquarters for the No on 1 campaign yard signs. For those of you not in the know, No on 1 is the campaign name for the pro-marriage equality side of the gay marriage vote here in Maine in a few weeks.

Interestingly, though, we do not have a sign up in our yard.

No, I'm not one to shy away from telling people my political views. Hell, I've worked in politics for over a decade. And marriage equality is a very important issue to me on a personal level.

So why no sign? It comes down to being in a small town again.

There seems to be a bit of a truce here in our little town on this issue. This being a small town, everyone knows where everyone else stands for the most part. In the people on the farm up the street for us are active in volunteering for the Yes on 1 side.

And they, too, have no sign in their yard.

There seems to be a neighborly sort of thing happening. While we know who is doing what for which side, no one wants to put it out there in a public way as to push their neighbors.

The Partner and I had a long talk about this, and I decided to make this compromise. I'll go along with the "truce".

But if one of the neighbors breaks the truce --- we're putting up one of the big signs.

Oh, Canada

2009-10-05T13:47:00.003-04:00

The Partner brought in the mail today. Charity asking for money. Another charity asking for money. Political event invitation. Catalog. Verizon bill.

I toss the charity asks - truth is I give to charities that aren't church based and give me return address stickers. I think its a good system. Open the political event invitation to make sure they spelled my boss' name correctly (they did).

Then I open the Verizon bill - and let out a yelp. $339.33 worth of yelp.

You see, I may have mentioned this before, but I live on the Canadian border. Its not really a joke when I say I can see Canada from my house -- from my second story office window I indeed do look east to Canada. And yes, I am so far north that Canada is to the east.

Apparently, my new Verizon Blackberry has decided to latch onto a Canadian cell phone tower rather than a good old fashioned American cell phone tower, resulting in nearly $200 in global cell phone fees.

Now I know I will have to call Verizon. And I know that they will put up roadblocks along the entire way, and that in the end I will end up paying this and getting some sort of American/Canadian plan that I should have been told about in the first place.

And I dread this entire process. I'm going to get frustrated. I'm going to want to say things to the person on the phone making $9 an hour and just doing their job that I shouldn't want to say. And in the end, its going to go just as I described above.

Dog Day Afternoon

2009-10-02T16:50:00.003-04:00

There was a little dog on the loose in the middle of the highway in front of our farm today.

Apparently it was the most excitement our little town has seen in some time.

Cars stopped in both directions. And, as can only be the case in a small town, people just got out of their cars and tried to help corral the little guy.

Which, of course, made him that much more agitated and harder to catch.

It all looked to be on solid ground when a couple from a few towns south of us got him into their truck, but not until a few runs around and one neighbors nipped finger.

Then came the next question. Whose dog is this? Everyone from all the neighboring farm houses gathered in a small circle to discuss the quandry. And at the same time, for the neighbors from the farm across the highway from us, it was a perfect time to check out the new guy -- me.

When who do we see coming up the street but the dogs owner -- the town alcoholic from down the highway.

Quick conference. "I'm not letting this little dog go back with him" says one person. "Are we even sure he belongs to him?" says another.

The poor couple with the dog in the truck looked lost. The owner finally got to us and to claim him when I hear the wife of the couple say "Do you want him back?"

The owner looks confused, then it seems to dawn on him. This group of neighbors doesn't trust him with his dog.

"Hell no. Keep him if you want. I got his sister at home and she don't run into the highway."

I watch him stumble back toward home. The couple drives off with their new dog. I have a few words with the neighbor across the street, who offers us apples for our chickens if we want, which I take as a neighborly welcome to town. And we all split our seperate ways.

As I'm walking back toward our house I hear him scream across the road to me "First time I've been across the highway in ten years. This town needs a little more excitement".

Ducks Gone Wild

2009-09-30T14:40:00.003-04:00

Wild ducks, like most birds this time of year, are migrating south.

Many of them in these parts apparently like the idea of making a pitstop at our pond.

We have 5 "domesticated" ducks on our farm. They stay on the pond, we feed them duck chow, and they will stay in the barn with the chickens over the winter. They couldn't fly if they wanted to because they eat constantly.

Apparently, though, most of them aren't shy about having the wild neighbors over for breakfast. This morning The Partner (prior to our trip to the dentist, thank you everyone for asking about him - it's a sinus infection causing all the problems) went out to feed our ducks.

Only to be greeted by 30 wild ones.

Now this won't stand for many reasons. First and foremost is our one male duck likes having a little harem of his own and doesn't take kindly to other guys on his turf. He was squaking up a storm and doing a whole lot of chasing (Squaking because male ducks don't quack, only female ones do. My farm fact of the day).

The second reason is the food. Sure, our ducks don't mind a little company. In fact this summer there was a family (mama and her chicks) that hung out with them. But don't get between them and their food dish. Once the partner put food out and they saw that the wild boys wanted to stay for breakfast, all bets were off. Feathers flew and soon, so did the wild ones.

Honestly, I don't think the wild ducks even knew what The Partner was putting out. But there you have it.

It'll be interesting to see if we have morning visitors again tomorrow.

Cows In The Mist

2009-09-29T19:48:00.002-04:00

Random Rambling

2009-09-28T16:55:00.002-04:00

Lots happening, and I need to try to get back into a groove, so lets start the week with a bunch of randomness and see what sticks.

The partner had a toothache wake him at 12:30am this morning, and things are barely better. We're waiting patiently (in my case) or not so patiently (in his case) for the dentist to call back on when he can be fit in. There are very few things in the world worse than watching the person you love in pain.
Finding toothache pain medication in rural Maine after midnight in the rain on a Sunday after midnight is not fun.
The colors are just beginning to turn here on the trees. I am committed to making sure you get a weekly splash of color for the next few weeks. The beauty is almost startling.
One of The Girls' father in law is in the hospital after a heart attack. He is doing somewhat better, but listening to the nightmare of trying to figure out what they were going to be able to do and where based on what the insurance company wants is disconcerting to say the least.
My fantasy football team is no longer undefeated after a 94-93 loss yesterday. I am disheartened.
Potato harvest has begun here, and I'm learning a whole new level of farming as I watch what's happening and hear the stories. Makes me happy that we have an animal farm.
Speaking of animals, I am working The Partner over trying to get two new kittens friends of ours have, named appropriately enough Bonnie and Clyde. I'm pretty sure I will win once the toothache has been handled.
I believe I may need to join a 12 step program for Mafia Wars on Facebook.

Back From DC

2009-09-26T09:05:00.003-04:00

I spent the last week in Washington, DC for work. More fun though was taking The Partner down with me for his first trip to our nation's capitol.

We had a fantastic time. It was pretty amazing to see the city through the eyes of a tourist rather than from the cynical point of view (mine) of someone that lived and worked there for years.

We did all the touristy things - the capitol tour, the double decker bus tour, walking the streets of upper northwest, nice dinners out.

Unfortunately for me, I was working on top of that, so now I'm feeling totally worn out.

I have to say hearing The Partner talk to his mother on the phone about everything he was doing and seeing would have made a week with no sleep worth it to make it happen.

Pictures coming soon!

Called Out

2009-09-16T15:26:00.003-04:00

Today was grocery shopping day. If you remember back to when I first moved to The County, this used to be a day of trepidation for me, as I worried about my reception from the locals.

Over the months, I've become more comfortable. I recognize a few faces, the deli manager sets things aside for me, and a couple of the cashiers watch for me and say hi (and have a bit of an informal pool of how much money I'll have in coupon savings).

So as I've become more comfortable, grocery shopping has become one of the things I look forward to doing. I get to shop, be by myself, interact with people that have nothing to do with work, and just basically have two hours every other week where I have "Al Time".

All was well today as I sidled up to the cash register. I was unloading my cart when an older couple came in behind me. I immediately sensed the hostility of the woman. I don't know how, but I knew quickly she wasn't happy with me for some reason.

I looked at her and smiled a bit, trying to see if she would say something. "You cut me off in the snack aisle with your cart" or "You're the one that got the last of the provolone cheese that was on sale". Whatever it was, I just wanted to see if I could figure out why I was sensing this feeling from her.

She turned to her husband and stage whispered "He's the one that moved in at The Partner's farm". Then they both looked at me with something between disdain and hatred that I haven't seen from perfect strangers in a long time.

Maybe its because we are going through the marriage equality battle here in Maine and The Partner and I are about it when it comes to out gay couples in the area, or because I'm "from away", but I knew they felt I was intruding on their lives in some way.

I had a choice, turn and introduce myself - or go about my business. I chose the latter. Maybe the chicken way out. Or maybe I just could feel that my being nice wasn't going to change a lot at that moment. Or just maybe I was, and am, a little angry that they called me out in such a public way in such a public space.

Whatever the reason, I chose not to interact. I went about the rest of my business, collected my congratulations from the checker for saving $52 in coupon savings today, and rolled away.

But I'm still disturbed by the incident. This is the first time anyone up here has been openly hostile to me, and it has me unnerved a bit. And I'm wondering if I did the wrong thing by not being friendly and open.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Not everyone is going to be jumping for joy about the gay guy from away moving here. Still, I've come to expect a certain bit of decorum if for no other reason but that we all live in a small town and have to live with one another.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post, but felt like I needed to "write it out" and see if there is anything to what I'm feeling about this.

Thanks for listening. You're comments are welcome.

Greener Shade Of Green

2009-09-15T14:36:00.002-04:00

One thing I've definitely noticed since I've moved to the country is the amazing variation of the color green in nature.

Whether its fields at various lengths, or broccoli, or potatos (pre blossom), tree leaves, or tractors and lawn mowers, green is a color that stands out in nature.

Sadly, we are coming to the end of summer here in Northern Maine, though. We have likely seen the last day where it would be warm enough to wear short sleeves outdoors. And with that comes the end of summer - and the green.

I'm not complaining, mind you. I live in New England, and fall is beginning. And we all know that there are few places on earth as beautiful as fall in New England.

That said, I'm already starting to lament the passing of my new favorite color.

Make It Swift

2009-09-14T07:21:00.003-04:00

Rant time, so settle back kids.

As you might imagine here in rural Maine, Taylor Swift is popular. More than popular, actually. Her songs, while not songs I can personally relate to in my life anymore, are well written (by her, I might add - she writes all her own songs), the music is great, the videos are fantastic. In fact, "You Belong With Me" was number 1 in country music videos for a record 2 1/2 months.

She is a crossover star. There hasn't been a song released from her album that hasn't rocketted up the charts yet. And she is something else - an actual nice person with good manners and a strong personality that gets things done because she works her butt off for it.

Up here, everyone from The Partner to our friends 15 year old girl swoons at the first sound of her voice. And I'm pretty sure that the 15 year old thinks she walks on water.

So it should not have been a surprise to anyone when her name was called on the MTV Video Awards last night for her record setting video "You Belong With Me". And at 19 years old, she had to be thrilled.

Enter Kanye West. I guess he didn't get the memo that the winners of awards at this particular show were chosen by the public. Because he was very unhappy that little Taylor Swift won. From what I can tell, he voted for Beyonce.

As I'm sure you've heard by now, he bum rushed the stage, took the microphone from Taylor, and said so to the whole world. When you look at Taylor's face, you can see she is clearly mortified. Here's what she said to Rolling Stone, as only a 19 year old can put it.

"I was really excited, because I had just won the award. And then I was really excited because Kanye West was onstage,” she said. “And then I wasn’t so excited anymore after that.”

But the one that should be mortified is Kanye West. Excuse the expression, but his mother would be ashamed, because I'm sure she didn't bring him up like that. He should have been escorted from the stage and arrested for disturbing the peace, like anyone else would have been.

But we can have our own say. Its time to banish Kanye until such time that he makes up for his douchebagness. Stop searching for Kanye on the internet. Don't download his new music, or old music for that matter. Turn off shows that will have him on. No being his fan on Facebook or following him on Twitter.

People like Kanye live for attention. Much like his last decent song, one might call him an Attention Digger. The quiet time from the lack of attention might give him the chance he needs to understand that he's not all that. And when he realizes that he might come out with a real apology and a changed attitude to go with it.

Until then, Gold Digger is banished from my playlist.

Ah, Crap

2009-09-09T14:57:00.002-04:00

What a great Labor Day weekend. Until the trip home.

We had a great time in Portland and Ogunquit. Visited friends, great dinner, walked along the beach. Everything you would expect from a weekend away.

We're driving home yesterday, and just as I notice the exit sign on I-95 for Dixmont, giggling to myself that Dixmont is a funny name for a town, I hear The Partner say those dreaded words.

"Ah, crap."

And the truck is drifting to a stop as he pulls to the side of the road.

Long story short, the transmission is shot and the truck is now little more than trade in bait. We got home 7 hours later in a rental car.

Overall, everything is fine. Its probably time to trade it in anyway, and there's a reason we have been stashing money aside - so when things like this happen we can handle it financially.

Still, I can think of better ways to end the weekend.

Labor Day Weekend

2009-09-04T12:00:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I am officially playing hooky from work for the rest of the day. Not that I didn't try, but I've been on the phone since 10 and I keep getting "He/she is gone for the weekend. Would you like their voicemail?", so I figure hey, I should follow their example. Right? Right?????

Anyway, The Partner and I are heading downstate on Sunday and won't be back until Tuesday evening. So happy Labor Day Weekend everyone! Enjoy the last breathe of Summer!

Random Things Wednesday

2009-09-02T15:42:00.002-04:00

If I hear one more fake twangy country song like this piece of crap, I'll have to poke holes in my eardrums. Seriously, if you are such a fan of "Small Town USA", why are you filming your video about it in front of a green screen in a big city? Just wondering.
Speaking of ear drums, I can't hear out of my right ear. I think its wax buildup, and I have no idea how to correct this, and The Partner is beyond mad about having to yell at me so I can hear him. Suggestions welcome.
I can't help but be excited about the fall colors. I've seen them in Portland, but I imagine the beauty up this way is going to be something to behold.
The Partner has talked me into buying another cow. His mother assures me he has been like this with animals all his life. Oh, and we're adopting another male duck. So the ladies have more choices.
Ever notice how when a group of people spend lots of time together planning something like, say, the town Fun Days, that they then need a couple weeks not together? Yeah, I noticed that, too.
Funny how when the Republicans were in the majority, there was very little talk about bipartisanship being important. Just sayin...
I just discovered that Cracker Barrel makes Cracker Cuts - pre-cut cheese for crackers! Because I'm just that lazy.
In two months, the voters of this state will decide whether or not The Partner and I can get married. For my straight married readers, can you imagine having your engagement voted on by your state?
College football starts tomorrow. I'm still a Husky fan, whether they win the National Championship or suffer through another winless season. Bow Down to Washington!

Harvest Break

2009-09-01T16:27:00.002-04:00

We had dinner with The Parents last night, and I learned a little more about life in The County.

The Partner's mom works at the local high school in one of the neighboring towns. It seems this year is the first year that there will not be a three week break at the end of September and beginning of October for harvest.

This is a practice that dates back as far as anyone can remember, and changing it - while practical - is seen as a sign of the diminishment of farming in this part of the country.

Kids can still take the time off if they work on a farm with a note. They now have to try to keep up with all the classwork at the same time though, instead of being able to concentrate solely on bringing in the crops.

Far be it for me, the new guy here from the city, to bemoan the passing of a tradition that I didn't even know existed before last night, but it does bring a bit of sadness to me to hear about it, especially since we are surrounded by working family farms. I know thats not the reality for most up here, but for those it is, it seems to me that they are being told that its not important anymore.

I may be reading too much into it, but I can't help but to see The Parents talking about it at the supper table last night, both shaking their heads. Not in disgust, but in sadness.

At the passing of a way of life.

Recovery

2009-08-31T15:59:00.002-04:00

We made it through our town's "Fun Days" this weekend. But barely.

Since I still have the sounds of dozens of young children shrieking my name ringing in my ears and The Partner is down for the count from shear exhaustion, I'll be taking one more day before I can find something decent to write about.

So you know what that means: Interactive Blogging time!

Question: Does your town have a fair or "fun days" and do you participate?

Hello There Autumn

2009-08-27T13:52:00.003-04:00

There is a freeze warning for parts of the county tonight.

For the record, today is August 27th. Al is less than pleased about this development.

Now I was under no illusions about what it would be like weatherwise when I moved up here. I was here every weekend this winter pretty much, so I know what's in store for me.

But really, a freeze warning in August? Couldn't we wait at least until Labor Day?

So I'm going to hit the sunporch for the rest of the day to try to soak up what might be left of Summer. And if its warm and sunny where you are right now, do me a favor. Don't tell me about it.

You Did Well, Friend

2009-08-26T08:25:00.005-04:00

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me,
naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.'
Then the righteous 16 will answer him and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?
When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?
When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?'
And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.'
Matthew 25:35-40

One of my mentors is passing away today.

He spent much of the last 10 years battling cancer, and this morning it was decided to remove him from life support.

After the tears, I have been spending time this morning reflecting on this giant of a man. You see, M was in recovery and when I was at my lowest point (a few of you will remember this from my blog in 2006) and even before he was there for me, giving me an example of how to live through adversity and how to live life by helping others.

It was very difficult to talk about all that was going wrong with my life and why I was having problems when the face on the other end was a smiling, full of life man that has been in your shoes and, oh yeah, is likely to be on his way to the oncologist after your talk.

But M was more than that. He lived his life with a fullness that was contagious, and did not fear its end.

Two weeks ago, M decided to move back to DC to be closer to his friends and support network. I assume that he sensed he was nearing his end and wanted to be near his chosen family.

Today, as he passes on, that family is standing vigil by the hundreds - literally. Just this fact alone, along with the many of us around the country like me that standing vigil from afar, is all that really needs to be said about a life well lived.

We stand vigil because his life and the way he lived it gave us a fresh start in our lives when we needed it most, and that is the definition to me of selflessness.

You did well, friend. Now go rest.

This Certainly Is New To Me

2009-08-25T20:25:00.003-04:00

A one act play.

Cast:
Al
5 year old child
7 year old child
Children's father
Bunny Rabbit

Scene: Al is on the committee of the town "Fun Days" committee, planning for the festivities this weekend. The committee and the families met at the Fish & Game Club, where much of the fun will happen.

7 year old child: Al! Al! Look at the bunny rabbit!
Bunny Rabbit: (Sits in middle of road leading to the club)
Al: Oh, isn't that great. (Sigh)
7 year old child: Can I shoot it?
Al: Um, I don't think...
5 year old child: No, you can't shoot it.
Al: Right, see it wouldn't be right...
5 year old child: I've got rocks and my slingshot right here. Let me get him.
Al: No, don't do that.
7 year old child: Dad, can I shoot the rabbit?
5 year old child: No! I can get him with a rock! It's mine!
Father: Yes, you can shoot it, but use your bb gun. Now leave me alone so we can work.
5 year old child: I missed. He ran away.
7 year old child: But dad said I could shoot it! (Cries)

Curtain.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Aches And Pains

2009-08-24T15:26:00.003-04:00

Age has its advantages. One of those advantages, however, is not feeling spry and ready to go the day after four wheeling.

We all went out yesterday and hit the trails. There were a couple of differences this time. The first one is we went to a town for ice cream instead of on the trails in the North Woods, which gave the trip a much calmer feel. And it had recently rained, so instead of dealing with dust, we had mud.

Again it was a great time. But all the adults that went on the trip yesterday is feeling a bit beat up today. Not in a bad way, really. Sore, but you know its an honestly earned sore, you know? But boy, its clear we are all in our mid 30's to early 50's, that's for sure.

Except for The Partner, of course. At age 50 he still runs around with his size 29 waist and his uncanny ability to fend off all physical signs of age. Today he's out refencing the fields. While I am having problems getting up and down the stairs without making funny noises.

Still, another great weekend in the country here. But I tell you what - I'm looking forward to sitting on my duff tonight.

NAPB Saturday - Animal House

2009-08-22T14:12:00.004-04:00

You want a piece of me?
The other cows are a bit more...docile.
The Dog is constantly on watch for intruders. And squirrels.
Our little troop of ducks taking a stroll past the garden.
Chickens on the run.
The Donkey does not wish to be disturbed at this time.
Horses in the field.
Like a duck to water

As Long As You're Happy

2009-08-21T19:19:00.003-04:00

Project Runway is back!

I know I've moved to the country and have gone 4 wheeling and kayaking and chased bulls and hayed and all, but I'm sorry, this boy can only be so butch.

It's back! It's back! It's back!

But that's not really what I want to write about. What I want to tell you about is The Partner. And his first ever experience watching Project Runway.

No, seriously. And yes, he is a "friend of Dorothy". Well, I thought, until I found out this little bit of information.

There are very few "musts" that we must do to keep our pink cards up-to-date. Having watched Project Runway at least once is on that list.

Okay, so he comes home from The Restaurant last night, and of course I'm parked in front of the television with a bag of chips and a bowl of salsa. And yes, I did watch the All Star challenge. I didn't care who won, but I felt it was important to get into the proper mood, ya know? Kind of like preseason football.

Anyway, he sits down and watches a bit and says...he says..."what show is this".

I couldn't speak for a full minute. I just looked at him like, well, like you would have looked at him.

This is when I found out that he wasn't qualified to continue going down the Yellow Brick Road unless I did something.

I'll give him credit. He watched the last hour of the All Star challenge and the whole premiere. He commented occasionally on a dress. Or so I thought last night, but when I think back, he was just agreeing with whatever I said.

At one point during the runway comments from the judges ("Its one thing to aim outside the box. Its another to miss the box completely." - God I missed you Heidi) with a look on his face I couldn't quite place.

"Are you okay?" I said.

"As long as you're happy, I'll watch this every week." was his response, shaking his head and turning back to the television.

Which is how I know I'm with the right guy.

Is It Like A Nor'easter?

2009-08-20T11:51:00.003-04:00

Well, would you look at this? The southern part of The County I live in is in the "cone of uncertainty" of Hurrican Bill, and if it were to hit, it would have winds of over 65 miles per hour, according to current projections.

I only have one thing to say about this. In your face, Florida!

Thank You Barney Frank

2009-08-19T08:53:00.002-04:00

If you have been waiting for months for someone from The Planet Earth to answer some of these crazy things coming out of the right wing machine, here is 1:17 of pure bliss.

Well Isn't That Just So Cute

2009-08-18T13:33:00.002-04:00

I find that a lot of my "city friends" have an image of rural life and people in their heads that I'm beginning to find ever more annoying.

I call it "oh, isn't that cute".

For many people I get where they're coming from, especially when they are talking about me and my own experiences. I mean, really, I'm a gay man from the city living on a farm. This is all new stuff, and sometimes its as hard for me to believe some of my experiences as it is for people who know me.

No, its not that. Its the sense I get that my friends think that everyone in this area went to school on the short bus, so to speak. If they went to school at all.

From a political standpoint (I do still work in politics), this is what makes it so easy for the demagogues on the right wing to seperate us. "Real Americans" is a code word for many things, but to some extent no matter the intended meaning, what it gets across is "you are equal to those people that are constantly looking down their nose at you".

I recently had a conversation with one of The Girls about health care reform. Like many people here, she works full time, has a family, and helps out in the community. In the summer its even more intense because we all have to help each other when needed for farm work. So there's precious little time for studying the intracacies of the bills in the house and senate.

She had heard the soundbites and came to talk to me because she knows I work for "a liberal". We had a conversation and I was pretty successful in getting her to see some of the lies. But one of the things I'm very aware of is something I wish my friends would remember:

Don't laugh at the misconceptions and lies or talk down about them.

Each point she made, I approached from a thoughtful point of view. Because if I had derided it, she would have shut me out. Because once again I would have just been another overeducated city dweller who looks down on her.

Instead, I believe it is important to understand that people here have a lot on the ball. Even if that ball wasn't gotten in a college or in New York.

My point, and I do have one, is this. The more we look down on people - for whatever reason - the more we find we can't communicate. And we will continue to have two Americas, and demagogues that can take advantage of that.

Technical Difficulties

2009-08-16T08:06:00.001-04:00

I was planning on having pictures up yesterday for Not A Photo Blog Saturday, but my computer and I are "having issues".

I'm hopeful counseling and a heart to heart talk about our future will bring us back on track, but in the meantime, we're taking today as an "us day".

But don't worry. You know you're the one I'd rather be with, and I'll be back to see you tomorrow.

It Happens

2009-08-14T14:06:00.004-04:00

The Partner and I and The Girls and their husbands just got back from Augusta where we got to see Sugarland in concert! And better yet, they had (unbeknownst to anyone until we arrived)Matt Nathanson and Billy Currington open for them.

Needless to say, it was a fantastic time and a great trip. And now we're worn out and trying to catch up.
Pictures tomorrow!

Sometimes You've Got To Force It

2009-08-11T12:45:00.002-04:00

I found myself the last day following The Partner into what we all know as a Very Bad Mood.

He's feeling a little down and has a lot of pressure, especially around The Restaurant. I mean, you think a small town has drama, try being one of 12 employees in the only restaurant (or business, really) in said town.

Anyway, I found myself following his spiral, and really, what good is that going to do.

So I went back into my list of tools I've learned over my lifetime and found one to help pull me back out.

I did a gratitude list.

A gratitude list is basically taking a moment to yourself and inventorying everything in your life that you have to be grateful for, from the basic (enough food to eat) to the large (a loving family) and everything in between.

And really, I have so much to be grateful for. I have a wonderful partner, live in a wonderful area on a great farm. We are financially stable, both have jobs, are both relatively healthy, and I am at a point in my life where I am getting to try new things and do things I didn't think I'd be able to - like go back to school in a few weeks (although that's another blog post, it's pretty exciting).

So now I'm in a great mood. I think The Partner is pulling back up, too, but I'm not responsible for that. I can only do what I can do, be supportive and loving, and the rest takes care of itself.

Random Things

2009-08-10T14:36:00.004-04:00

There are a lot of things flying around my head, so rather than do the hard work of deciding on one subject and writing coherently about it, I will instead just throw it all out there.

Because it takes a bit of time to get back into the groove, apparently.

When kayaking, put sunscreen on your knees if you're really tall, or you might get sunburned. Now you know.
And speaking of kayaking, who knew I would fall in love with it? The Partner had to practically pull me out of the water this weekend.
The more I see of these mobs speaking about their America, the more I wonder if there really are two Americas, because I sure don't recognize the country they live in.
Summer in Northern Maine lasted for approximately 80 hours this year.
I find that I can't watch news on tv anymore, because what they are reporting isn't news, they don't seperate fact from speculation from opinion, and when I do see something that captures my interest, they quickly move away from it to cover the latest on Michael Jackson.
If you believe that Barack Obama was not born in America, you are an idiot that should not be allowed around sharp objects.
I like taking lots of short trips rather than one long vacation. This summer we've gone to Bangor for pride, Portland for pride, North Haven, and now camping. Later this week we are going downstate to see Sugarland, visiting Portland for a day again, and in October we are going to Tampa for a few days. Each time, I come back refreshed.
Sometimes, when I feel completely overwhelmed or angry or upset, I take The Dog outside and just play catch with him. And I realize that, in that moment, nothing in the world is more important than throwing the ball in the tall grass and watching his tail wag on supersonic speed while he looks for it.

Discuss.

Gone Fishing

2009-08-07T10:21:00.002-04:00

Actually, we're going camping, but close enough.

No NAPB Saturday this week, nor Sexy Cowboy Sunday. In fact, I'll be replacing SCS with a new feature next week.

I'm sure we'll have some stories to share when we get back, though. Oh, and we just got 9 new cows, so there's that.

Anyway, we're off! Everyone enjoy your weekend!

Um...Yeah...Its Great

2009-08-05T12:46:00.002-04:00

One of The Girls lent me a book. Its one of her favorites, and she insisted I'd simply love it.

I hate it.

I am 25 pages in, and I don't ever want to pick up this book again. I hate the main characters already, and find them to be one dimensional. I can see the plot coming a mile away.

So, blog friends, what do I do? Do I suffer through? Or do I just return it with a general yeah, it was good? If I do that, will I get caught if/when she wants to discuss it? Do I tell the truth, and let her know that I dislike one of her favorite books?

For background, we are part of a small group that has informally formed here that exchanges books and movies, and I want to make sure the waves stay calm and that we can continue to do so.

Your advice/talking points/scorn are welcome.

Card Carrying Member

2009-08-04T12:22:00.002-04:00

I'm an official resident of Aroostook County. Sort of.

Yesterday I went to get my Maine Drivers License at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles. Of course...now stop me if you've heard me say this before...the nearest BMV office is an hour away from home.

So we load up in the truck and drive to the only BMV whose driving directions on the state website is one sentence. ("Just of US 1, across from the Burger King").

We get there and realize that Monday morning may not have been a good choice, but since we're there, I get my number and wait it out.

A mere hour and 15 minutes later, my number is called. A very nice woman helps me through the process, and I give her everything I was told to bring -- my out of state license, my birth certificate -- a certified copy since I lost the original, apparently making me ineligible to be President of the United States -- my social security card, two pay stubs, and a telephone bill.

Outside of one little hiccup, when she asked me what state Washington, DC was in and we had a little go around about that (my license was a DC license), everything went smoothly.

Yet I left without my license. Why, you ask?

Their camera was broken. So I got a temporary that last for 60 days and was told to "pop on in" later that day or sometime in the next 2 months to get my picture taken and get my official license.

So now I have to plan for another at least 4 hours to go back and finish the job.

There is not "popping on in" when you live on the farm. But I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.

Gone Country

2009-08-03T15:58:00.002-04:00

I went ATVing yesterday.

The Girls and their husbands asked me and The Partner to join them for a day of 4-wheeling. The Partner assumed that I wouldn't be interested.

Instead, I found myself with a new passion.

There is something really great about going into the North Woods trails on these machines. And five hours later, covered with dust and mud, I found myself wondering when we would do it again.

There is one big downside, however. As the newbie, I often found myself trailing the group, mostly because I don't know the trails and they do.

Which means I have a new appreciation for the terms "Eat my dust" and "Here's mud in your eye".

No matter. Next time we're asked along, you know I'll be saying yes.

Not so bad for the gay city boy, eh?

Sexy Cowboy Sunday

2009-08-01T13:04:00.005-04:00

NAPB Saturday - Daycation

2009-08-01T09:32:00.005-04:00

Downtown Rockland
The North Haven ferry arrives
And we're off!

Heading out of Rockland harbor

Arriving on North Haven

A foggy island day

North Haven's main industry - lobstering

We stayed at Nebo Lodge

One of the islander gardens

Sunset on North Haven

Our dream Summer House

The famous Maine rocky shore

Our last view as we prepare to leave

Open seas, and heading toward home

Vacation was great, but its good to be home

Not Quite Ready To Go Sally Fields, But Close

2009-07-31T13:31:00.002-04:00

I had three conversations at the grocery store today. Now, this doesn't come close to what its like when I go to the store with The Partner, who almost literally cannot make it down an aisle without talking to someone.

But its a start.

Now mind you, they weren't mind bending, deep conversations. One consisted pretty much completely of one syllable words ("No rain." "Yup."). But three distinct people took the time to speak to me, which is a good feeling for the new guy here.

More importantly, the woman in the deli set aside some roast beef for me that she knew I'd like.

Baby steps.

Friend Me

2009-07-30T10:12:00.003-04:00

Yesterday one of my readers (there are so many that I get to use the plural there, didja notice?) asked me to friend her on Facebook. Of course, I immediately went to Facebook and did so because I feel like I'm getting to know her here on the blog and through hers, so I think it would be great.

But it got me thinking about some of the people I have in my Facebook network. In particular, that one "friend" that many of us have.

You know the one. You kind of remember them from something, maybe you had a class together in college? Or was it someone that a friend said hi to at a party? Oh, who knows. You got the friend request, you kind of knew the name and, oh, what the heck.

Then it started. You started getting requests to join them in Farmville. Or join their Mob. Then it escalated into getting tagged in their notes (Copy this and put an x next to the colors you like, then tag 20 of your friends. What fun!) and challenged to a game of Scrabble with people you don't know. Besides, you don't like the new Scrabble.

To top it off, apparently this person lives on Facebook, because they also update their status every 5 minutes ("Still raining here. Blah.") and post every article they find even remotely interesting. So suddenly your front page is about them.

And you still can't quite remember who this person is.

Yet, if you're like me, you still find it difficult to remove them as a friend on Facebook. They probably won't know. Or if they do, so what? You don't really even know them. But you just can't do it.

So we go on, ignoring the "note tags" and the "What cartoon character are you?" requests and try to ignore their updates.

And the whole time wondering...Who the hell are you?

To close off my little Facebook prose, I'd like to share with you a video that...ahem...I got from a friend on Facebook. I enjoyed it and I think you will, too. Oh, and its NSFW without headphones.

Do We Have To Go Back?

2009-07-29T12:13:00.002-04:00

The unfortunate answer I gave The Partner yesterday was yes, we do have to go back home.

We had a fantastic time driving the Maine coast and on the island of North Haven. I'll give a full rundown of the wonderful things we did on Saturday, when I have pictures to help illustrate.

Suffice it to say for now that we had a wonderful time. But now that we're back home, we're happy to be here, too.

Happy hump day!

Daycation

2009-07-27T07:00:00.000-04:00

I have a doctor's appointment today. Of course, living where I live, that means its an ordeal.

But The Partner, in all his infinite wisdom, has turned it into an opportunity. So after we drive the 2 1/2 hours to get to my appointment this morning, we'll follow that with another 1 1/2 hour drive to the coast, where we will jump on a ferry and spend the night on the island of North Haven, which is 12 miles of the coast of Maine.

North Haven is one of my favorite places, and the lodge is amazing, so we're splurging for the night, but it'll be worth it.

And it should be great pictures for Not A Photo Blog Saturday.

Sexy Cowboy Sunday

2009-07-26T07:26:00.000-04:00

Not A Photo Blog

2009-07-25T10:39:00.005-04:00

I was wracking my little brain trying to come up with something to replace Country Jukebox with, when it hit me.

On the last trip to Bangor, we bought a new digital camera. One of the many things I am trying is photography.

And what better way to show the area I'm talking about in the blog than in pictures.

So, with no further ado, I present to you Not A Photo Blog Saturday.

Lots of hay
Admiring my hay stacking abilities

Hay coming in from the field

Ready to bring in

getting ready for haying

Country humor

A view of the garden

The Dog

One of the Ducks

The Ducks

The Garden

Ready for haying

Sunporch

More of the garden

Going Native

2009-07-24T13:19:00.004-04:00

Last night I helped out at The Restaurant.

And wouldn't you know it, in came a family of flatlander vacationing jerks from away.

There, I said it.

They had their brand new lounging around t-shirts with "Maine" on them, along with jeans that just may have cost more than my computer.

My first clue was whe the daughter took a napkin and wiped the seat off before she sat down. The newly upholstered seats, I may add.

Cause apparently she didn't want rural cooties.

They then took the time to point at the menu and mock the food choices. Now I'll be the first to say it - if you don't like your food fried and in big portions, you should keep going down the road. That said, there was something that said we could have had a menu created by Emeril himself and they would have mocked it.

Because in reality they weren't mocking the food, or wiping off a "dirty" seat. They were claiming their supremacy.

When I worked in politics, we called it "going native" when you took the view of the locals over that of the national view.

So apparently I've gone native. I was embarassed and angry the entire time they were there, especially the way they mockingly looked at The Partner, who happened to be their waiter.

I'm still angry thinking about it today.

People here all work hard and are good to each other. The Restaurant serves as more than a place to eat. Its where we get a chance to interact, hear the latest news, and make sure we're a part of things in our community.

When someone falls on hard times, they can come to The Restaurant and get a meal. And for these people, who are scared about their financial future, somehow, the ticket seems to get lost most of the time when it comes time to pay.

Now, people in the country are far from perfect. And there is always room for improvement anywhere you live.

And there are things in the area that can be made fun of. But not if you don't know the people. People that, if you broke down on the side of the road and didn't know what to do, would line up stopped behind you and make sure you got on your way again.

Not when your only goal is just to make yourself feel superior to the rest of us.

So I hope the family from away with their touchy tummies and their fear of country germs enjoyed their stop in. They won't be missed.

Oh, and thanks for the dollar tip. We'll be sure to buy ourselves somethin' purty with it.

Morons.

Benadryl Take Me Away

2009-07-23T13:54:00.002-04:00

Apparently I am allergic to hay.

I know this because not only have I had problems breathing the last two days, but my forearms and hands are red and covered with welts.

I don't know which is worse - that I went through a whole day of haying to find this little factoid out, or if I am such a city boy that I didn't know it until I was forty years old.

Of course, now that I've done it, I'll keep doing it. I just know to be stocked up on the benedryl ahead of time.

Nice Hay. Yup.

2009-07-22T08:38:00.003-04:00

The hay is in. 600 bales plus 10 round bales all made it into the barn before the rain started.

Barely, but we did it. And over $3,000 didn't go to rot in the field.

I have to admit, I'm proud that I was a part of bringing it in. I was up in the barn, learning to stack hay ("Its like a jigsaw puzzle" one of The Girls whose family is sharing the hay with us said), tossing hay bales off the cart, staring at the broken tube on the baler with the rest of the guys until someone decided to just cut it and use duct tape to get it working for the rest of the day.

And sitting with everyone when we backed the last of it into the barn and the first few raindrops started falling, looking around at the hundreds of bales and saying things like "really nice hay this year" and "just got it in now, didn't we".

We all went to supper at The Restaurant afterward, including one of the neighbor farmers who wasn't able to get his hay in before the rain. Kids were at the table vying for my attention, "Al! Al! Watch this!". I joined in the conversation with the men about barn repairs and insulation on the house for the winter. The Girls that were working were making sure we had everything we needed.

And, even though I'm still a flatlander "from away" and people still tend to look at me funny a bit when I stop in the corner store, I'm starting to become a part of things - slowly.

And it feels good.

Health Care For All...Of The Wealthy

2009-07-21T11:39:00.004-04:00

Listening to members of congress and the senate talk about health care tells me one thing.

We are electing a bunch of people that don't have a clue about what its like to not make six figures and have government run health care at their fingertips.

The Partner and I both have health concerns. We are getting older and now have what is known in the parlance as "pre-existing conditions".

What that means of course is that we have been sick before in our lifetimes.

And that means that its nearly impossible to get any kind of health care coverage, especially as self employed people. And what that means is that we can't make any money nor can we have any assets. Because if we do, we can't get medical coverage if we get sick.

Unless we sell everything in a fire sale first, of course.

And we're not alone. Here in the county we see time and again when an older couple gets into health trouble that they have to sell things off -- at a reduced rate of course -- to one of the few wealth land owners up here before they can get state care.

So the rich get richer at the expense of the hard working people. Again.

Oh, we do what we can. We hold suppers to try to raise money to help out with sudden expenses for people who have health expenses they can't afford. But its never enough, and they usually end up losing everything.

Because they got sick.

So when I hear my own Senator -- from right here in the county no less -- talk about the need to slow down on health care reform and how she's worried about people with good health care coverage having to pay to help those with none, it makes me angry.

Really angry.

And it makes me think that perhaps Senator Susan Collins, with her six figure income and the best health insurance our tax dollars can buy, has been in Washington, DC too long and needs to come back home to the county and be reminded what life is really like for the rest of us.

I'll step off my soap box now and head out to the field to help bring in the hay.

Hay Fever

2009-07-20T08:32:00.002-04:00

The Partner cut the hay yesterday.

It looks like we have a window through tomorrow evening for it to dry and get baled and stored in the barn.

Can I just say I've never looked at the weather so intently in my entire life, and that includes looking at weather reports for election days which is serious business for me.

Every time a cloud went overhead yesterday, I found myself analyzing it for potential rainfall. I've seen a number of cut fields from last week with brown hay, which means that it went bad because of rain before it could be baled and is pretty much a complete loss, so my fears are well founded.

Tomorrow I join The Partner and the rest of the farmers we're in cahoots with on hay to bring it in.

This ought to be interesting.

Sexy Cowboy Sunday

2009-07-19T07:38:00.001-04:00

Weekend Country Jukebox - The End

2009-07-18T09:48:00.001-04:00

Apparently CMT doesn't give embed coding anymore for their videos, only the url. And its not fun to say click on the link and go see it.

So, we'll have to have something else fill the slot starting next Saturday. Any ideas?

The Donkey

2009-07-17T11:34:00.002-04:00

We have a donkey.

Its not really too big a deal to have a donkey out here. A lot of people do. After all, they've been a part of farming culture for centuries.

Ours, however, is different. She's spoiled rotten.

The Partner got The Donkey a little over a year ago. She had been abused. Instead of having a vet come in and file her hooves down (just like fingernails, hooves have to be kept at a proper length), the previous owners apparently just took an axe to her feet.

In addition, we're pretty sure she was kept in poor conditions and barely fed.

The Partner is known around these parts for being the guy that will take in animals in need.

Which is why we have The Donkey. And because she was abused before, we are doing our part to make sure the second half of her life is filled with donkey treats, full fields of grass, and a comfortable barn.

After what she's been through, she deserves nothing less.

Look Who Dropped In

2009-07-16T20:17:00.003-04:00

Calling ahead doesn't seem to be something people do out this way.

I'm getting used to this. When I first got here, The Partner would occasionally park the truck in the barn. While I thought it was a bit odd, what was stranger to me was how guilty he felt about it.

He said that if people didn't see the truck, they wouldn't think he was home. All I could think was, well, why would that matter.

Now that I've been here a while, I realize why it matters. People think nothing of just dropping by.

Normally its not a big deal. One of The Girls will stop in and chat a bit and go on about her day. No big deal.

Occasionally, though, someone will stop by for an extended visit. For no reason. Including not even really being friends.

But because they live here in town, the expectation is that you will entertain appropriately. Oh, and I can pull out my best June Cleaver when necessary.

Today was one of those days. I won't go into detail -- it is a small town here after all. I will say this though.

I understand hiding the truck on occasion now. And I won't feel guilty about it.

Oh, Did You Call On Me?

2009-07-15T18:26:00.003-04:00

I feel like the kid in school who isn't ready for the pop quiz.

Try as I might, I have nothing worthwhile to add to the blogosphere today.

So, I won't. Anything you want to know about life in rural Maine on a Wednesday in July? Let me know in the comments.

All In

2009-07-14T14:03:00.004-04:00

I won a poker tournament. Yup, I'm a card shark. Who knew?

Admit it, you've gotten sucked into watching poker tournaments on ESPN2 from time to time. Its one of those things that you find yourself watching and, like a Real Housewives marathon, 5 hours have gone by, you haven't eaten dinner, and the laundry is still piled up.

Or is it just me?

Anyway, eventually I got to the point where I found myself saying "I can play that" and went online to download the game.

Then I started playing.

Let me say first of all, I'm amazed that I still have anything approaching a life now that I've discovered this. Then when I figured out some basic poker skills, I quickly discovered people play like crap when they aren't playing for real money.

Which is how I ended up winning a 360 person tournament on Poker Stars.

I'll admit it. I started thinking about my trip to Las Vegas to enter the next World Series of Poker tournament. I was ready to be the next Chris Moneymaker.

Then I signed up for a higher level tournament. And promptly finished 144th out of 360. I was so far away from finishing "in the money" that I couldn't even smell it, much less see it.

I guess I have some more practicing to do before I give up the day job.

Doesn't mean I wouldn't like a weekend trip to Vegas or Atlantic City, though.

What's Wrong?

2009-07-13T13:59:00.002-04:00

Ever have one of those days, or weekends, where nothing is really wrong, but nothing is right, either?

Yeah, we had one of those this weekend.

We went to Bangor for the monthly GLBT dance on Saturday. It was a sunny day (for once) and we were both excited for a night out.

I thought things started off well, and I was in a good mood.

Apparently, I only thought I was in a good mood, though. The Partner wanted to know what was wrong with me on the drive down. I didn't think anything was wrong, though, so I couldn't really answer.

It was like that the whole weekend. He was doing things to irritate me that he didn't realize he was doing. And I was doing the same.

By the time we got home yesterday, there was much stomping around and pouting on both our parts.

Because we aren't in our 40's and 50's apparently. No, we both turn into 5 year old boys in this situation.

I'll be honest. When he left to go to work at The Restaurant - without saying goodbye, I might add - I was as happy to see him go as he was to leave.

Yes, when he got home, we had time to settle down. We were both happy when we went to sleep last night.

But the real question I'm left with is this:

What happened?

Sexy Cowboy Sunday

2009-07-12T06:00:00.000-04:00

Weekend Country Jukebox - Fight Like A Girl

2009-07-11T09:00:00.000-04:00

Bombshel put out this song, dedicated to women who have fought and won, or fought and died, in the battle against breast cancer.

Bomshel More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

Only The Shadow Knows

2009-07-10T15:35:00.003-04:00

The Partner knows about The Blog.

I went back and forth on whether or not to keep it "my thing" or let him know.

My concern about letting him know is the same concern I have about telling people close to me about it -- will I start writing for them or will I write for myself.

The truth is I am always tailoring my writing for the people reading it. Oh, I know the old maxim of "blog for yourself", and to some extent I get it.

But if I'm going to do that, I'll write a diary. I don't post a journal or diary online for anyone to read, which I do with a blog.

And I don't post Sexy Cowboy Sunday because I don't want readers.

So, now he knows. As do the people I work with. As does anyone that has me as a friend on Facebook. Hi everyone!

I hope what I'm writing is entertaining to some extent, helps us keep in touch with one another, and gives you a bit of insight into what its like both to be an openly gay man in today's world, and what its like to live in rural America.

As for my really personal secrets -- well, I suppose I gave up most of the good ones years ago when I stopped my downward life spiral (and some of you were there for that, too).

Any that are left can wait for the therapist couch. Or the hair dresser. Whichever.

Sing It Annie

2009-07-09T13:56:00.003-04:00

The sun is out.

I haven't seen this big of a group mood change since election night 2000.

People in town are chattery. I went to get my hair cut this morning and one of the locals spoke to me. Really!

Its a sea change.

One of the neighbors went a little crazy yesterday afternoon and cut his hay. It was quite the talk up here. Either he's just wasted a bunch of hay, or he's a cut ahead of everyone - which would make him crazy like a fox I guess. We'll see if the rain forcast for Saturday comes or not. If it doesn't, he's ahead of the game.

You have baseball and sports and such down in the city. We have competitive farming. Not as big a deal as the competition around lawns, but still apparently pretty major.

But no matter. We're enjoying the sun today. And hoping the long term forcast is wrong - because they're saying rain all next week again...

PS - Thank you to everyone for visiting my little blog about my new life. My 1,000th visitor came by today. Thanks, and tell your friends.

Is This The Party To Whom I Am Speaking?

2009-07-08T14:22:00.003-04:00

Working from home has its drawbacks.

Especially when said home is in the middle of, well, rural Maine.

One problem is while I have cell phone service and internet service, lately I haven't always had both at the same time.

And as I work to help put together an event in our nation's capital tomorrow from afar, this is becoming a bit of a problem.

The event is in fine shape, and I know the people on the other end have things pretty much in control, but its frustrating today as I work to make sure the final logistics are set up to not be able to communicate on command.

The Partner heard me moaning about this. I believe my exact words were "Aaaaaaaaaaaargggh! This is driving me crazy!" This concerned him, and made him wonder if I'm doubting my decision.

I'm not. At all.

The next time I am putting together a fundraiser in another city, I may decide to fly to that city for the 24 hours beforehand to keep on top of things, but I certainly am not doubting where I am right now in my work life and my personal life.

Every now and then, though, we just have to let out an arrgh. Just to regain concentration, you know.

Whence Summer

2009-07-07T14:36:00.003-04:00

The heat has been on all day today.

I couldn't quite believe it when I heard it kick on last night (the thermostat is set to 68 degrees) but I thought, hey, maybe its just a chilly night.

Not so much.

Its nearly 3pm and its 55 degrees. And cloudy. And depressing.

Now the problems with the lack of summer are really coming to the fore. Its not just the hay and and animal farms anymore.

The potato crop, which is the main money generator here in the county, is also in danger from blight. As in - the cause of the Irish Potato Famine. That blight.

Because the fields are so wet, the equipment can't be brought out to spray the crops to keep the blight away. Now farmers are asking the state for permission to use dust croppers to spray the fields.

Needless to say, none of the farmers are in pleasant moods, what with the lack of sunlight and the hay going to seed in the field and the potential for their crops to be wiped out.

All of this has been quite an education for me. It gives me an appreciation I never had for the cycles of the seasons and the stresses that farmers go through on a regular basis.

Some things can't be learned. They have to be lived. This is one of those things.

So we're all praying for sun, and watching the Weather Channel for any clues that the weather might turn. Not just so the heat will turn off - in July. But for the livlihood of our community.

Focus, Man! Focus!

2009-07-06T13:01:00.002-04:00

I have a lot of things that I want to do. Amazing how the mind goes to "now what" so quickly once I started getting into my routine here on the farm.

Not that's its not exciting here, because I've got plenty to hold my attention. Its just that now that I'm settled, I can start thinking about what my midlife can look like and can be.

To that end, I stumbled upon a great idea via Attention Span of a Fly on how to get started.

Its called the Day Zero Project and it asks us to put together a list of 101 things to accomplish in 1,001 days.

I love it! Now I can start thinking about what I want to accomplish or try, and put it down in a concrete way. I've already got some ideas, including writing a first draft of the novel that's rattling around in my head, getting rifle shooting lessons (my fear of guns is big, so this is a big one), entering a snowmobile race for charity, run a 10K, and smaller things like organizing my kitchen cabinets.

I welcome your ideas! Throw it out there and lets see what we come up with. And don't forget to start your own list, too.

I don't want to be alone in this, after all.

Sexy Cowboy Sunday

2009-07-05T06:00:00.003-04:00

Weekend Country Jukebox - The Climb

2009-07-04T09:00:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe I actually like a ... a ... a ...

Miley Cyrus song.

There, I said it.

The video isn't the best, but the song is pretty good. Enjoy your 4th of July!

Miley Cyrus More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

I Got Nothing

2009-07-03T12:32:00.003-04:00

Not a damn thing going through my head.

Actually, that's a lie. I have lots going through my head today.

What I need to do is take some quiet time and sort it all out, so that's what I'm going to do today.

In the meantime, did you hear Michael Jackson died? Discuss.

Star Search

2009-07-02T17:24:00.002-04:00

Its County Fair Time (TM)!

Here in the county we are stop one for Fair Season in the great state of Maine with the Houlton Fair kicking things off.

Houlton is one of the three "big cities" of Aroostook County. Which means that it, along with the metropolises of Presque Isle and Caribou, has more than 5,000 residents.

No town in the county has 10,000 people, so this counts as a big city up this way.

Anyway, the Houlton Fair is mostly an agricultural fair with some rides.

But this year, as you would know if you were listening to the radio in Northern Maine or Western New Brunswick (and yes, like Sarah Palin and Russia, I can see Canada from my house - except I really can), you know we have a special treat this year.

Wait for it...

American Idol star Josh Gracin is playing!

Oh my God, are you totally going to die? I know!

And it gets better...

I've got tickets!

I know, right?

Now, before we all have too good of a laugh, I'll admit that I actually like Josh Gracin. I voted for him every week on American Idol. I booed Simon from my couch at home when he told him every week he "didn't have what it takes".

And just look at him! He's cute as a button.

I also, will be the first to admit that when I heard he would be playing in Houlton, I thought, well, those three top five country hits (the radio told me...over and over and over again) and that American Idol apprearance got him...here?

So overall, I'm looking forward to the big concert tomorrow.

Don't be jealous. I'll see if I can snag some pictures for you.

Just Ducky

2009-07-01T17:25:00.002-04:00

What The Ducks seem to like:

* Chasing baby chickens.
* Eating. Specifically eating The Partner's favorite plant and my tomato plants.
* Crapping. Everywhere.
* Sleeping. Preferrably in the middle of the flower bed.
* The street. They are fascinated with the highway and are venturing closer and closer each day, giving me heart attacks (although given what they have done to his garden, The Partner is beginning to root them on).

What The Ducks don't seem to like:

* Water. Oh, they like water well enough, just not the water in the pond, which was part of the reason we got them in the first place, so they would eat the green stuff in the pond and keep it clean.

Rainy Days And Mondays

2009-06-30T10:34:00.002-04:00

I don't know if you've noticed my little weather pixie guy over on the right hand column of this here blog, but if you haven't, take a look.

If he's like he has been most of the month, he's got an umbrella up.

Maine is seeing our wettest June in recorded history this year, with more rain expected for the next week.

This has made The Partner grumpy. As well as most of the people in the county.

Its supposed to be haying season. What that means is people should be cutting and baleing their first cut of hay. But you can't cut hay unless its dry and going to remain dry for a few days. Otherwise it gets mold and is worthless.

In the best case scenario here in the way up north, you get three cuttings and, hopefully, that will be enough to get you through most of the winter.

Lose one of the cuttings because, say for example, it won't stop raining, and you're talking about potentially thousands of dollars in outlay at the end of next winter.

And I won't even talk about what the lack of quality lawn mowing time has done to people's psyches up here.

So in short, in order to keep The Partner and all the farmers up here happy and not broke, by extention keeping me happy and not broke, I ask only one thing.

Pray that my little weather guy puts his umbrella away. Soon

You Talkin' To Me?

2009-06-29T17:00:00.002-04:00

They spoke to me.

Well, actually, only the clerk at the store actually spoke to me, technically. But the other guys at the corner store continued speaking while I was in the store, so there's that.

Baby steps, you know.

So The Partner tells me that his dad is hearing the big gossip in town about us. We have either a) snuck off to Connecticut and gotten gay married or b) snuck off to Massachusetts and gotten gay married or c) are getting gay married in New Hampshire.

None of which is true. We will decide about marriage once we know it will remain legal here in Maine, but not until then. And if we do, it will be right here, in our community.

Because marriage is about not only committing to each other, but telling the community that we are committed to being part of it. Because when you're in a rural area, its important to know that people will be there when you need them.

During haying season. When one of the bulls gets loose and needs to be corralled. When a cow is calving and having problems. When potatoes need to be harvested.

And I've heard how people talk differently about (straight) couples that aren't married. Its not with respect. And part of the reason is because people aren't sure if they're really going to stay together -- or stay around.

Regardless of our plans, that's the gossip. The Partner assures me that it will calm down soon. Just wait until the next affair, or the next unplanned pregnancy, or the next surprise dui.

And now that I've moved on from being talked about to being talked around, its only a matter of time until I get talked to.

I'm not worried, though. It'll happen in its own time.

Like I said -- baby steps.

Sexy Cowboy Sunday

2009-06-28T08:08:00.000-04:00

Weekend Country Jukebox - Sounds Like Life To Me

2009-06-27T12:00:00.000-04:00

A good reminder for the stressed out. This is what life is supposed to be like.

Happy Saturday!

Darryl Worley More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

Wonder What They're Up To Now?

2009-06-26T13:15:00.005-04:00

Well, yesterday sure was an eventful day on the celebrity death front, what with Farrah and Michael joining Ed McMahon.

As I was reading my Facebook page...er...I mean...taking a well earned break from work...I noticed the update of one of my friends who lost his mother recently that said:

Mom is in heaven right now getting her hair feathered with Farrah Fawcett while Ed McMahon hands her an oversized check for one million dollars, after giving her an unprecedented four and four quarters stars.

Michael Jackson's death was announced a little later, or he might have added "while MJ teaches her to Moonwalk".

Now, I'm not the type to think of heaven as a bunch of people up on the clouds Family Circus style, but I know that on occasion I still think of my mother an automatically think of her as being "up there". I still remember my first political campaign victory and thinking "She's watching me now and she's proud of me", so I don't mock the thought at all.

And I think if she were up on "a cloud in heaven" right now, she would be smoking a cigarette while watching Wimbledon with Virginia Wade and complaining that tennis just isn't what it was back when Borg & Becker & Martina were playing.

So my question of the day is this:

If you have lost a loved one, what do you picture them doing on their cloud today?

Hiya!

2009-06-25T11:31:00.002-04:00

I'm a snob. There, now you know.

I didn't know this little fact about myself until yesterday, when The Partner patiently sat me down and broke the news to me.

"Honey, people are talking about you. When you drive the truck, its really important you wave at people when you pass by. Otherwise, they think we're stuck up."

Now, I've noticed that The Partner waves at almost everyone when he's driving up here. But I assumed it was because he grew up here and by extention knows everyone.

That, and the fact he seems to be related in one way or another to most of the County. As I've discovered, there are 73,000 people in the County, and about 73 families.

Now I'm from the city. Spent most of my life in cities - and all of my adult life. When we drive, we were taught to "drive defensively" and pay attention to the road so that when city people did crazy things (which they do often) while driving, you can react.

What I wasn't taught was to look at the drivers of the cars coming at you going the opposite direction to see if you might know them and to wave if you do - or might - or just aren't sure and want to play it safe.

So today, when I went to the gas station to pick up the morning paper because The Partner forgot it when he went down there earlier, I made a point of having my hand up in "wave position" for the short drive.

And I was feeling pretty good about things, until I started filling up the truck with gas and went in to pay and get the paper.

The five people in the store were looking at me like I was a space alien. The girl behind the counter was so flustered she couldn't even figure out how much I owed her, or for what.

I'm wondering if I broke another rule I don't know about, or if it was just that I was driving The Partner's truck and thus must be the new "friend", and I'm getting the "homosexual stare" which I'm becoming somewhat accustomed to.

Either way, I'm sure I'll find out when The Partner goes down there tomorrow for his morning gossip session.

I'll make sure I remind him to pick up the paper.

Meet The Parents

2009-06-24T09:42:00.004-04:00

Last night I had dinner with The Partner at his parents house.

It wasn't exactly a big trip. They live on the farm across the street from us, so there was not commute involved or anything.

But there sure were a lot of nerves.

The Partner's father is a former state representative and loves to talk politics with me (I've worked in politics for the last 12 years) and catch up on people in Augusta, so we've got a common bond.

His mother and I bond over the fact that The Partner and his father are so much alike, especially with eating habits, and she and I seem to spend a lot of our time trying to keep them healthy. We're pretty sure that these two were in mind when The Buttertons were thought of.

So while it was very comfortable, and we had lots to talk about, it was still a little nerve wracking for me. Of course we had met and talked before and seemed to get along just fine. But we had never broke bread together, and I wasn't sure if we would be able to sustain a conversation for a full visit.

But we survived quite well. The conversation flowed. Everyone seemed happy. I got a new recipe for lobster rolls. The dog didn't bite me.

Life is good

Jumping Ship

2009-06-23T19:34:00.004-04:00

I'm going to let go of one of my clients at the end of the month. And I feel bad about it.

Its a group that is close to my heart - and the same one I worked for before moving to The County.

But there is a lot of drama with the organization right now. And as I was dealing with some of it today, I had an epiphany.

I don't have to put up with this.

Yes, I said when I told them that I was moving that I would stay on with them as a consultant. But I didn't promise until death do us part. And I have enough business - and potential business that I've turned down - that its not necessary for me to keep them as a client.

Now I need to get over feeling guilty about it and just do it.

One thing is making it easier; something we would all do well to remember when dealing with work situations that are similar...

If the tables were turned, they likely wouldn't hesitate. For the best of the organization, of course.

No Is The Word

2009-06-22T15:17:00.003-04:00

There seems to be a specific word that both The Partner and I have a problem with.

No.

Oh, its not hearing it that we have the problem with. Its saying it.

Which is how we have somehow become the go to couple in this part of the state for planning events, finding contributors to (name of cause here), or whatever else might be needed.

I'm not complaining. Well, not much anyway. One of the reasons The Partner and I clicked is because we are community minded and enjoy doing these sorts of things.

But damn, we're getting older, and more tired, and we're both finding it harder and harder to keep up.

I can just sense that we aren't going to be able to do everything we want to, and need to set some boundaries sooner rather than later. We're currently on the hook for our town's annual carnival, a gay mens camping trip, and a couple of organizations that we serve on the boards of. Not to mention the Book Club, the Friday night socials, and my desire to write the Great American Novel (TM).

And lord, do our feet hurt, know what I'm sayin?

So a question for the audience. Have you had this problem? What guidelines do you use in your life to make sure you don't overload?

We could use the advice.

Sexy Cowboy Sunday

2009-06-21T12:00:00.000-04:00

Weekend Country Jukebox - Here Comes Goodbye

2009-06-20T12:00:00.000-04:00

Rascal Flatts flat out are awesome. Great music, great performances.

And creative. I heard one of them on a radio interview recently talk about their music and say "There are many ways to interpret our songs. And all of them are the correct interpretation. That's what music is about."

I totally love this video because they put that into action. If you listen to it, its your typical breakup song. But watch the video interpretation and it becomes something different.

And don't worry if you don't get it on the first watch through. It took me three watchings (is that a word?) to have my "ah-ha" moment.

Enjoy!

Rascal Flatts More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

Going Going Going

2009-06-19T06:41:00.002-04:00

Gone.

The Partner and I are headed to Portland for Southern Maine Pride (and truth be told, two work events for me -- boo work on Pride Weekend!).

The regular features of Weekend Country Jukebox and Sexy Cowboy Sunday are set to run as usual, though.

See you Sunday! Happy Pride!

Like Herding Cats

2009-06-18T17:21:00.004-04:00

I'll just say it -- ducks aren't the brightest birds in the feathered friend family.

These little guys in the picture here are part of our duck family here on the farm. We've had them for almost a month, and they've finally graduated from being in a box with a heater to going outside to getting to spend then whole night in the barn.

I know, exciting life for the ducks, right?

But they're still getting their sea legs (so to speak) with this whole outside business.

Now I've been good about being the lead guy when it comes to bringing them in at night, first collecting them from their little enclosure in the back yard, then in herding them into the barn.

Thought I had it down. This ain't so hard, I thought. They just waddle their way from the back right into the open door.

Just don't spook them, as I found out last night.

There I am, daydreaming a bit as I walk behind them and they're waddlin' and quackin' their way to their evening digs.

When the dog turns the corner.

Crap, I forgot I let the dog out to do his business, and he came running around the corner with only one thing on his mind.

"Ball! Ball! Where's the Ball! Baaaaaaaaaaall!"

The Ducks freaked. And I mean freaked.

Now if you haven't been up close and personal with ducks, I'll tell you this about them. They really do waddle. When spooked their first reaction is to both make lots of noise and waddle as fast as possible away from the threat.

In this case, it means finding a small hole that I couldn't even see until they were in it --- under the porch.

I got the dog into the house (and really had to restrain myself from saying "bad dog" because, really, he wasn't bad - I was the idiot) and tried to figure out what to do.

The Partner was at The Restaurant and the absolute last thing in the world I wanted to do was have to call him for help or advice. Because you know what would happen.

Lots of giggling, then laughing, then "city boy" jokes.

I was going to do this one on my own.

I tried making noise to spook them back out. That did nothing but drive them further underground.

I tried bread crumbs. Apparently their sense of smell or sight in the dark isn't all that great.

So I sat on the steps, trying to figure it out, and hoping there wasn't a dreaded fox under the stairs having duck stew.

About 10 minutes later, just as I was ready to concede defeat and give in to the ribbing about "losing the ducks", I see a little head pop out. Then another.

The two Blue Swedes (figures it would be the Swedes that were the smartest of the bunch, I say proudly...) were leading the charge. Once they saw the coast was clear, they bolted out, followed by the other three, including the very fat male, who almost got stuck.

And in a mad rush, they went directly from the porch to the barn.

Where they promptly spooked The Donkey.

When one barn door opens, another one slams shut and spooks another animal. Or so the saying goes...

I'm Craptacular! Thanks For Asking!

2009-06-17T15:25:00.004-04:00

I'm having that day

You know the one. The one where I woke up and hated everyone and everything from the instant my eyes opened.

Then I talked to people and only seemed to prove how right I was to start my day that way.

While there is some reason to be angry or upset with a person here and there, especially around a current work project, there's really no reason to be like this.

And I don't care. Truth be told, I'm kind of liking it today.

Sometimes there's just something theraputic about looking for the bad in everyone for a day. Looking for little things that make you go "idiot". Being able to laugh that sardonic, pooh-poohing laugh that says to the person on the other end of the phone "Seriously? Did you just say that? Out loud?".

I'm not like this very often. I actually work hard at being pretty well centered and empathetic with others. A mentor a long time ago taught me -- When you're angry at someone, look at the situation from their perspective and ask "what is it that they are looking to get?"

It works well.

But today, I don't want to ask that question.

I want to roll my eyes and sigh loudly and generally just be a bit miserable.

Got something to say about that?

PS - Many thanks to Frogponder for unknowingly giving me the perfect graphic for my day.

Book 'Em

2009-06-16T16:21:00.003-04:00

I'm joining a book club.

Tonight I'll head down to the church that The Partner & I have joined (the hippie church of course) to pick up my book and say hi to our little group.

And I have a bad feeling about it.

Two of the guys in the group are...how should I describe it...needy. Or maybe just lonely. Either way, I sense that they both see the new guy as potentially their new best friend in the entire world.

Rule #48 of rural life - you can't get away from people you might not want to associate with.

One of the guys "dropped by to say hi" while I was working today because he saw our pickup in front of the barn. No matter how much I hinted ("I really need to get back to work now...") he just didn't get it. Finally, after about 15 minutes, I just said "thanks for stopping by. see you tonight..." while leading him by the arm to the front door.

Book Guy #2 is the leader of said book club. And as such has my cell phone number. And apparently has a lot of rollover minutes he needs to use up.

I'll be fine, and both guys are good people. I'm just a bit overwhelmed by the sudden attention and lack of privacy.

I hope the book is good.

Out In The County

2009-06-15T12:20:00.003-04:00

Its Pride Month!

In my past, I've been to some pretty big pride celebrations, with hundreds of thousands of people in Seattle, San Diego and Washington, DC. They are weekend long events that take over the city. Tons to do and tons to see.

Well, here in the country, pride is a bit of a different experience, but every bit as fulfilling.

The Partner and I ventured a couple hours south to the big city of Bangor (population 30,000) for their first Pride Festival.

The Bridge Alliance, which is Bangor's LGBT organization, did a fantastic job. The Bangor Daily News estimates about 1,000 attendees, about 300 of which stuck around for the dance.

Now, unlike in the big cities, its a big deal for people in the LGBT community and our allies to be out like this. Many people here are still "semi-closeted" (kind of a rural version of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"), and to have 1000 people spend the day in the middle of downtown with a pride flag flying from the building is a big deal.

And gives a special feeling of strength.

The Partner and I volunteered at the water and soda booth, as well as at the EqualityMaine booth. We had great views of the stage from both locations.

My highlight was hearing a young music group called Sam & Yuri. They're music is damn good, as is their stage presence. Its always great to find a great new band, and a local one at that! Go to their site and listen. Go on, I'll wait...

We also got to hear Senator Dennis Damon talk about why he sponsored the marriage equality bill that was recently passed here in Maine. Secretly, I'm hoping the rumors about him running for Governor are true -- he'd have my support!

The dance was a blast. The poor restaurant staff at the Whig & Courier was a bit overwhelmed but held their own. And what a good thing for a downtown business to see that we will support them if they support us.

It was great to see Northern Maine come out for a day, and a great chance for the community to get together and fly our colors. I'm already looking forward to next year.

So to my big city readers - enjoy pride month. But take a moment and think about this. When we say "we are everywhere", remember Bangor, Maine and our first pride festival, and see if it puts a special swell in your heart and a smile on your face.